Catch up

Mum at Butchart Gardens (after being in the bathroom for 30 minutes, shuffling out looking pained with the saddest face) "don't make me go back there"

Heading into Butchart
Mum: what kind of flowers are those?
Front desk: They are forget me nots
Mum: girls don't let me forget those

On the way out
Mum: oh shoot! What are those called? I forgot!

Mum: (after we are doing Blue Steele faces) David, can you even make a face?

Mum: You can't just have people running around with potato salad.

Mum: Did you say they don't let Atilla the Huns on? (David had said "they don't leave until everyone is on")

Mum: What are we doing, just following the lemmings?

Mum: If there is no change, then nothing changes! And if nothing changes, there is no change!

Bethany and Mum had just come back from England and were in New Balance. Mum: You don't understand how much my balls hurt! (Talking about the balls of her feet)

Dad: (standing next to flowers) What smells like flowers?

Mum: I like brunch! I'm not gay!

Mum: All she saw was mist and darkness (talking about a cloudy Neskowin trip)

David: There's always a circus in your heart

Mum: You boys! Just make sure you don't die, until you die!

Mum: Why are those coconuts on a palm tree? Wouldn't they be on a coconut tree?

Mum: I just love my little butt hole (talking about her seat in the sand)

Mum: What happened to the waves? I think they come in waves.

I don't love it

While looking at Bethany's instagram: How do I just like it but not love it?

Point No Point Beach

Mum to Mackayla (who had told Mum she was cold): if I was a better grandmother I would give you my sweatshirt but I'm not.

What happened to the waves? I think they come in waves.

Cocktail hour

Wait, is cocktail hour gay?

Beeyotch

Bitch isn't a swear word, it's what she is!

Colorblind

Nanny Gina, the Queen Mum, and I were in the car. Nanny Gina said "I just saw some black mens underwear in the street." Mum immediately asked "How do you know they belong to a black man?"

Avery is a late night artist

I woke up Avery in the middle of the night, and as is custom... i had her draw a picture so i could prove to her the next day that is waken her up. After she drew a picture of me supporting a fo-hawk, she turned to me, and in a rather sophisticated tone said: "Well, it's not exactly my best work."